Archive for May, 2009


We’re not worthy….we’re not worthy! All hail, Keely! All hail, Keely! I’m seriously not being a smart ass. These Random Tuesday Thoughts are like free therapy for me and we all have Keely to thank for our money saving healing treatment. Head on over and get your own button and link up!!!

I don’t think I’m a bad Mommy. I think I’m a damn GOOD Mommy. I do, however, have insecurities issues with the Mommies that push their “ideals” on me. I do not feed my children completely organic, I do let them watch television, I do let them play with toy water guns, I do use cuss words around them. I’m.not.a.perfect.mother. I’m very impressed with these mothers that follow all these rules to a “T”. They are kick-ass(see? There I go again)! Don’t get me wrong, Mommies! I am NOT bashing you. You are seriously awesome. I just don’t do all those things the way you do. I’m paying you homage for your great efforts so for that can you please cut me some slack and not give me the someone-should-call-welface-on-her looks for not doing the things you do? That’s all I’m asking! I think we all do things in our own way and that’s what makes the world so great…diverse people in it, right?? Just sayin’.

Our lovely garage sale….what can I say?? We did great!! I busted my ass and my ass was greatly rewarded! I made some $$$ on my junk treasures! I was on what I now like to refer to as : “a garage sale high”. It rocked!! I got up at 5:30. Did you know the sun doesn’t come up that early?? Holy hell!! Shocked me!! We got all the stuff set up….(everything was previously priced via yours truly) and then we waited for our hoarders customers to come shopping. And shop they did!! The kids woke up and I had used my brain(the one that only works about 1/2 the time) to make 3 dozen chocolate chip cookies and set up the kids picnic table inside the safety of the fence and pimped out my gorgeous little babes to sell said goodies to the peeps as they perused our items…smart, huh? All in all, it went well. By the end of the day, I sold more than I thought I would, the SuperHusband was in high spirits, the kids were happily soiled from head to toe….a very good garage sale day. I’m only going to be crazy enough to try it all again exactly a year now.

Okay. I’m a tough girl. Not much makes me cry…with one exception. I’m a blubbering pile of crocodile tears when it comes to *Sasafrass and Frinken. I always have been. Their milestones are especially hard on me. Sassy decided when she would quit nursing the week of her 1st birthday(always refusing breast milk in the bottle) and went straight to a sippy. She never would take any form of a pacifier, either. Other than myself, heh. I cried for about 2 hours straight that day. She was great at the whole potty training thing….always being very girly and not liking being wet or dirty, it was quick and simple for her. I hate changing diapers but I still cried when she had it mastered. She’s a big girl now. Frinken is/has been/continues to be another story. We’re still working on it. I started on the potty training before I took his pacifer(bicky, to him) because I thought it might be easier. I know some of you are reading say: “How old is this kid?” “He still has a paccy”? Yeah, yeah. Judge, if you must. Back to my story. The bicky has started to mess with his speech, obviously, so I decided yesterday that today was the day that he would be “The Boy Without the Bicky” and so it was. He took his nap without it and did well. He went to sleep last night without it and no fight, no fit, no tears. Well, there were tears but not from Frinken. I sat there watching him sleep. His perfect little eyelashes fluttering with sleep and I just couldn’t believe that my only little boy, my last baby, is almost potty trained, doesn’t need his bicky like I thought he did, and is growing up so freakin’ fast and the tears started rolling. Slow, at first, then hard until I was silently sobbing uncontrollably. Every day is a reminder of what a great thing being a Mommy is but also how damn hard it is as well!!

*Toots has requested that her nickname be changed(I’ve called her this since birth) because “she’s not a baby anymore”) Sasafrass(Sassy for short) is what she has decided. I have no clue why and quite frankly, I’m a little scared to ask so I’ve decided to just go with it. Happy Tuesday, All!!


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I edited this picture of Frinken a few years ago, just having some fun. Don’t ya wish we are were so lucky? Enjoy!

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Go to Keely’s page and snag your own button and play this nifty little game she thought up called, you guessed it!…………….

Why is it I have to repeat myself a million times to Frinken things like “quit hitting your sister” or “get your finger out of your nose” or “please stop playing with your weenie” and he can’t remember ANY of those things but I can say hell or shit or damn or the occassional much too often “F-bomb” and he remembers those without any trouble?? Great parenting, huh?

Sunday is SuperHusband’s birthday. The in-laws called to ask inform us of what we would be doing that day. Uhhh, FAIL!! It’s fine when you’re like what, 5, to be TOLD what you will be doing for your birthday but when you are turning the big 29 I’m pretty sure (not 100%, I’d have to check) that the cord has been cut for some time now. Back the “F” off! I understand that they would like to spend time with him/us but that’s not the way to go about it. Asking would be more appropriate. Remember from my earlier post, they’ve just come back from Mexico. Regardless of what they think, we will NOT be spending this birthday with them as a precaution. If they wanted to spend this time w/ him they could’ve rethought they’re plans….better luck next year.

My.neighbors.are.inbred.crazies. I don’t like these people, in case ya haven’t noticed. Since it’s warmer weather now, they’re outside a lot more. The older brother and sister are ALWAYS together and I am certain we’ll be hearing the pitter patter of little webbed feet in 9 months if they keep up at this rate. The mom and dad….we’ll call them Sally May and Bubba. They like to stare. I’m not shocked they have no manners. Why the hell would anything they do at this point shock me? The staring is starting to piss me off!! They stand in their yard and eyeball us like they “ain’t never seen people like them there folks before, Pa”. I’ve debated on taking pictures of them w/ my phone when they do it just to piss them off!

Weightloss…oh you evil bitch, weightloss. I hate you! You are an evil whore! You are a difficult battle that I have yet to win completely and I will conquer your ugly ass if it ‘s the last thing I do! Phew!! THAT.FELT.GREAT. I’m okay with where I am but I could be happier. I’m not as small as I was before I had Toots but I’m waaay smaller than I was after either baby was born so that’s a huge motivator. I have about 12 lbs to go before I get to my goal weight and then I have the daunting task of toning everything. Why did noone tell me….”Oh, before you accidentally make a baby you better kiss those pretty perky boobies goodbye” or “Oh, what? You like that teeny, tiny, tight rump ya got there? Kiss it goodbye, too!” I would’ve been in much less shock. These kids kicked my ass….and my boobs and my stomach and my thighs and every other body part. I’m working on it though. I have my eye on a swimsuit that I WILL get into and WILL be comfortable in…if it kills me!!!

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Thank you to the dot on the map where I live for having a town-wide garage sale next weekend where I can, unload part with begrudgingly, my junk treasures on the sweet people of my hometown. I have a lot of crap bargains to get rid of and I’m super excited to see what kind of $$$ I can make. Mostly, it’s toys and clothes the kids have outgrown. Some of it’s clothes my used-to-be-larger-than-it-is-now heinie can’t wear anymore. There’s alot of stuff I have bought cuz I “had to have it” and I look at it now and I’m like “what was I thinking”. Should be interesting to see what other people think about my catchpennies!

Thank you, Mr. MRI technician who kept my eyes covered while injecting me with the contrast dye needed to continue my testing the other day. THAT was fun. Seriously, can’t remember when I had a bigger barrel of monkeys. You are a jackass for actually yelling at me for trying to take the cover off my eyes when you were wrapping the band around my arm to find a vein. I’m sorry. Is it not my arm you are holding on to? Is it not my vein you are about to poke with something very sharp? My mistake!! Did you honestly think it would be less scary this way? You were misinformed, if someone told you that!! Borrowing a word from Cara, you are an Asshat! Thank you to whoever built the house we live in. You were smart when you decided to build a fence around the entire house. What I want to know: How did you know in 30 years time, that people would drive like lunatics and not stop at the 2, count ’em, 2 stop signs at the intersections? Also, how did you know they would drive through said intersection at a NASCAR speed every single day? How did you know that this podunky town would still have no cops? You are smart people or psychic or both! Thank you.

Thank you, next door neighbors, for making me endure the sight of watching your poor dog getting run over by a car the other evening. Noone is to blame but YOU. The dog wasn’t put on a leash or in a proper fence and was still a puppy and was your responsibility to look after. You failed horribly and the memory of that is forever burned into my mind. They have Child Protective Services for people who can’t take proper care of their kids. Well, they should have Pet Protective Services for people like you, who don’t take proper care of their pets. What amazes me the most is that you seem to collect more and more dogs that you don’t take care of. Here’s a tip: If you can’t take care of the ones you have, DON’T GET ANY MORE!! These innocent animals shouldn’t have to suffer because of your obvious stupidity….and that’s exactly what’s happening here.

Thank you, Oklahoma Storms, for once again missing us. I have lived in this state for almost 26 years(I’m probably jinxing the hell out of myself right now) and I’ve only seen 2 Tornados in real life and neither touched down. Our town seems to get passed either on the sides or overhead every time and I’m very grateful for that. We have a storm shelter but I have alot of friends, family, neighbors that do not and I am always thankful when the weatherman tells us we have a chance of severe weather and then we end up with just thunderstorms.

Thank you, God, for giving me my amazing children and letting me see things through their eyes and helping me to remember to slow down and take time to realize how special the little things are in life. You have blessed me a thousands times over with these two awesome little creatures and every time I see a little smile or I hear a little giggle, I know how lucky I am. They are my first thought in the morning and in my prayers before I go to bed at night and I can’t imagine a more perfect world than this world with each of them in it. Thank you, God.

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13 Things that happened today….

1. Toots told me she liked my butt.

2. I’ve almost survived day #2 of no pop (I haven’t cheated, days not over).

3. We have a dog named “Stoops” and he listened to me and I said “Good Job, Bob” and I was alone and I laughed really hard at my own joke. I know the Okies will get this one. Sorry, but I thought it was funny. Get it??

4. Frinken had to rock a Lil Swimmer instead of a diaper at naptime today because we ran out and we weren’t going to get groceries until tonight(he’s wearing big boy underoos during the daytime, Go Frinken Go). I got major stink eye when he actually decided to make eye contact.

5. The kids broke my friend, the Swiffer Sweeper. Thanks for having another one for me to buy, Walmart.

6. I twittered an obscene amount today. You know how much, Cara and Caiti!

7. I spent too much time worrying about my “investments today.

8. I daydreamed about SuperHusband, like I do every day. I’m seriously in love with him. I might have to marry him and have his children. Wait….

9. I sneakily ate candy while the kids were taking a nap. It’s the only time I’m not asked forced to share.

10. I let 3 women I’ve never met before intimidate and upset me in Walmart tonight and I am still thinking about it.

11. I bought lots of veggies and fruits and healthy crap food that I plan on eating instead of the normal junk I cram into my mouth.

12. I’m very glad tomorrow is Friday. I’m pretty sure tomorrow is Friday. I’ll have to ask a few people to make sure but I’m almost positive tomorrow is Friday.

13. Toots has been asking to cut her hair and since it is her hair I’ll probably let her but it’s so beautiful and I cried inside when she first asked. Her hair is beautiful. It’s gotten so long…..down to the middle of her back now and I worry she’ll regret her decision. *I’m going to try reverse psychology. It never worked on me but she is half her Daddy.

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Thanks to Keely, we have a way to let all those thoughts that go bouncing around our Mommy brains OUT for the world to see/read. Go over to her page and get your own button and play along.

I love the way certain things reminds me of some my friends. I cannot hear the song “Bubbly” w/out thinking about Abby and Mya and how Mya loooves that song to fall asleep.
I can’t drive into a Sonic w/out wondering if someone is holding up the drive-by ordering an obscene amount of food and making Cara wait forever. (I SO agree that it should be drinks ONLY, Cara!)

I’m starting to worry my daughter has a mean streak. Her terrible 2’s were bad. I suffered through her 3’s and her 4’s are even worse and those are about over with and there’s no visible end in sight. SHE. IS. MEAN. She actually enjoys hurting her brother or making the SuperHusband and I mad. I don’t know what I’m going to have to do to get through to this child but holy hell is she stubborn!!! She is definitely her Mama and I hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate.hate. that phrase “just wait til you have kids”because my mom wasn’t freakin’ kidding!!!! She’s ME!!! I must have been a SH** when I was little and yes, mother, I’m paying for it now!!!! There’s gotta be a spot worn out in the place that Toots call “TIME-OUT” because she sure does spend a lot of her time there.

My MIL, like the highly intelligent person she is, went to Mexico for a week this past week. She’s back now. She wants to come see the kids. Uhhhh….STOP riiiiight there, Grandma!! Don’t think so. They checked them for fevers before they let them cross the border back into the US otherwise they would’ve had to stay in Mexico and they weren’t feverish but….it could take up to a week for the onset of symptoms for occur. Why should MY kids pay for YOUR lack of judgement? Sorry!!! See ya around the 4Th of July for some fireworks and hot dogs? Seriously? I’m not a huge germ freak but I’m also not going to gamble w/ my kids health! My foot is down and will remain down on this one. SuperHusband backs me up, too. Grandma is SOL, so to speak.

On a sadder note, my new medicine seem to be working for the most part. This is good. I love the no headaches everyday. I love being able to actually do my Mommy duties with no pain or nausea. The sad thing is: they make my beloved Dr. Pepper tasted like liquid A**!! There’s nothing I love more than coffee in the morning and pop all day. It’s sad….very very sad. I am always saying how I want to stop drinking Dr. Pepper(the best caffeine of all times) and it looks like it’ll be pretty easy to quit because it’s not getting any better. It’s actually tasting nastier by the day. What’s the definition of crazy? Doing the same thing over and over expecting different results? Yeah, that’s me. I drink it every day hoping wishing praying that something changes and it’ll taste like my good friend once again….and it doesn’t. Sad, huh??

Don’t forget to link up to Keely and play her fun game of Random Thoughts Tuesday!

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