Some of you know and some of you don’t know that my endo has gotten more consistently painful lately. I knew going back to the doctor was inevitable. We went yesterday. I knew another surgery was going to be in my future but what I heard wasn’t what I expected. It’s time to remove my uterus. Lasering off the endometrial growth won’t help much and the lesions have become so severe that I am left with no other options. Everything is so spider webbed together that laproscopy is not an option. I will be having open surgery….much more risky and a longer recovery time. My doctor wants to make sure he gets everything. He is very thorough. He is going to try to keep my ovaries if he can remove and/or drain the cysts that have grown on them. He also wants to keep my cervix if there aren’t any lesions on that. I will have a urologist there to place stints in my ureters to help them see and feel them so they have a better chance of avoiding them during surgery. After surgery, I will begin getting lupron shots and taking a daily dose of progesterone to put my body into early menopause to kill off anything that might be left. This will go on for a minimum of 6 months and we will reevaluate the progress at that time. To say I’m scared? Understatement. Fucking petrified is more like it. This is huge. I know something has to be done because living in pain and not being the Mommy and wife I want to be is breaking my heart every day. I don’t want to be morbid but I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought this: What if I die? What happens then? Those thoughts don’t go away for long. I worry about that. I am still in shock about all this. They are scheduling the surgery and will call me with the exact date. It will be sometime in early July. Thank you to anyone who reads this, worries about me, prays for me. You, my online friends, mean so much to me. You lift me up. You encourage me and give me hope. I love you. I wanted to make sure you knew what was going on now. I’m scared and sad. I’m trying my best to think positively. I really am.
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Ashlee
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Ashlee
Oh honey. I have no advice or words of encouragement for you. I won’t even try because nothing I say will take this fear from you. Know this much though… your doctor sounds like a fantastic physician. Being scared for the future is one thing but don’t focus on all the bad things that can happen. He wouldn’t be practicing and offering this option if he weren’t capable of doing it. Other doctors will be present and you are going to come through the surgery okay. I know and feel this with all my heart.
I wish there were something I could do for you. Know that I am here for you if you need anything. I would even come to you if I were wanted and needed. I will be praying for you (as if I don’t already, ha!). I think about you often and love you. You are a wonderful friend and I know that things are going to be okay.
Have faith Ash. You are going to be okay. I know it.
Oh, Ash…….
I too, wish I knew what to say to be able to take away what you are feeling, let alone take away the physical part of it, but know there really isn’t anything.
Just know that I am here for you in anyway you need. And will listen to anything at all you want to talk about.
Love
A.Dawn
Oh mama, my heart aches for you! I know this is scary, but you can not keep living in this pain. Trust me and my ankle on this…we want you to be pain free. I am just so sorry it has to be this drastic. I will be here for you whenever you need and ear…if anyone knows about surgery anxiety it’s me. Tona of love and hugs to you!
ok I KINDA knew what was going on but not to this extent. I’m so very sorry. I will def be thinking of you whenever you DO go into surgery. You’ll have to have someone update us after you get out. ((HUGS))